Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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