bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
