Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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