sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
