What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize