Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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