He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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