If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
