when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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