so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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