i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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