Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
