he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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