apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
