Duck Duck Cougar?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
