Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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