Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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