it's great music for shaving your balls
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
