party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i out mim tonsoeep
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
