Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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