Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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