you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize