Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
