I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
