it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
