Nicole vs. Life
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize