i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
