meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Couch. On fire.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
