I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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