it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
