i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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