plz talk dirty to me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize