my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
