i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
