Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
