No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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