Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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