I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I supernannyed him into submission
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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