You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You made out with two different species that night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
