So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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