I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
