Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
