Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i just had sex bonerless
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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