Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
