thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
