Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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