Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
