so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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