i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize