if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
