i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
