FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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