Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
