I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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