i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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