thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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