You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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