what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
