is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize