Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
