no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Barsexuality is the new black.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
