I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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