We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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