your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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