her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i now understand why vodka
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
