just come out here and I will go home with you...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
