I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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