So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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