I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize