you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
