i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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