we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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