Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
