i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
