i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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